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The World According to Student Bloopers


Edited by Mrs. Paul H. Walker

It is truly astounding what havoc students can wreak upon the chronicles of the human race. The following "history" of the world has been put together from genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eigth grade through college level.

Read carefully and you will learn a lot:

>>Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies, and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation.

>>The pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain. The egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube.

>>The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

>>God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birthmark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his 12 sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.

>>Pharoah forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

>>David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

>>Later came Job, who had one trouble after another. Eventually, he lost all his cattle and all his children and had to go live alone with his wife in the desert.

>>The Greeks were a highly sculptered people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns--corinthians, ironic, and dorc--and built the Apocalypse. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

>>One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intollerable. Achilles appears in The Illiad by Homer. Homer also wrote The Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

>>Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advise. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a